Giving Yourself Grace - what does this mean?

I was inspired to google the terms giving yourself grace and found this interesting essay.

What inspired me to search on these particular terms? I was motivated to do this because I had observed this topic as a theme in many conversations and in many sessions with clients these past few weeks. The conversations may not have included the exact word "grace", but what I have observed is the expression of the desire of having more grace with(in) ourselves and/or of the feelings of being pushed upon and away from our sense of grace or the feelings of being compelled to push against someone or something, that caused a feeling of gracelessness in ourselves.

Does this resonate with you? If so, I invite you to read on:

The writer of this article I shared above offers the following quote in in her essay:

think of "grace giving as a form of equanimity. That concept is defined by an openness, softness, and love, qualities that allow emotions to come and go, "without push or pull," says Sola."

I invite you to consider that what the writer is talking about, whether she knows it or not, are some of the key aspects of somatics.

Giving yourself permission to Yield, to soften into the support of your experience of your body breathing and being supported by gravity in this moment, is a foundational resource necessary for giving yourself grace and also for the process of safely opening somatically.

For those who don't know what I mean by Yield, it is one of the five fundamental Actions. These five fundamental Actions (Yield/Push, Reach/Grasp/Pull) are the universal energetic "pathways to life and...movement" (from Susan Aposhyan, for another perspective on this click here).

Yield is resting in contact, allowing oneself to actively rest in connection with what supports you in the present moment. It is this capacity, to actively Yield and allow the support of the Earth and our breath, that underlies our capacity to Push.

And this, dear ones, IS the act of equanimity: to be able to fully and easily Yield into what is supporting you in this moment and to allow that support to communicate to your nervous system that you are whole and safe and secure and to allow yourself, if you choose, to Push yourself upward or to take a stand or to take an action WITHOUT losing your sense of yourSelf as a supported, fully alive and present human being. This is equanimity.

The act of Grace.

Consider practicing living grace as a verb. Invite yourself to allow yourself to honor your whole Self - spiritbodymind. To honor your experience of Presence, right here, right now It is all awareness, it is just awareness, it is part of awareness of what is the truth of this exact moment - and give yourself permission to not be Pushed or Pulled into the past, the present, the story, the rules or the judgement.

The embodiment of Grace.

************************************************************************************************************ As always, if this inspires questions, curiosities, concerns, confusion, inspiration - please let me know. I would love to explore it together! (I am currently putting individual clients on a waiting list as I am full to the gills!)

Also know that you can always find out what sort of opportunities to explore I am offering - simply check out my website for upcoming events

"Being in the Present": What does this mean?

I recently had someone say to me, "what do you mean when you invite me to 'be in the present'? I'm right here, aren’t I? How can I not be in the present?"

And while it is true that your body IS always here, as a noun, a “thing”, it is not always actively present as a verb. The body is always trying to be actively present right here in this moment as a living, sensing, moving being because that is how it was designed, however, without an active practice of allowing your body to be fully living, sensing and moving (known as the act of embodiment) your mind can easily convince your body that it is NOT in the present. This is because we’ve all been deeply deeply trained to disconnect from the body and to let our Selves be led by the mind. Without practice the physical Self can lose its ability to stay connected or return to the present real experiences of this moment, and will yield to your mind’s beliefs and thoughts of the past or of the future as IF these are what is real right now, while they are not.

While this experience of feeling the past or future as if it is happening right now can be a wonderful way to relive and reconnect with the sensations of a fond memory or to anticipate a future hoped for event, it can also be the foundation for incredible unease and dis-ease in the body, especially if one’s memories or expectations are of danger and overwhelm.

As a somatic movement therapist, I believe that deepening one’s capacity to actively BE in the body as a living, breathing, sensing, moving experience with more and more ease is essential for spiritual, physical and mental health.

Because I believe this, I invite you to consider prioritizing the practice of embodiment in your life.

What does that mean, you might wonder?

Let’s explore!

if you would prefer to explore with video support, check out these videos on my Youtube channel, and if you like what you see, please subscribe!

Feeling Your Body

Checking in: Experiencing the Body in the Present Moment

Letting Go of the Hungry Mind

Otherwise, I invite you to join me now in this written guided embodiment practice:

I invite you to Pause.

Right now.

I invite you to stop reading for a moment and let yourself notice where your mind's focus is, without judgement.

And when you return to this reading, I invite you to give yourself permission to take note - was the thing your mind was focused on about you and the environment you are experiencing right in this moment or was it about something that is outside of what was actually present in the moment?

Whatever you noticed, I invite you to let go of anything the mind is focused on that is not right with now, in this moment.

I invite you to let your mind practice focusing on the experience of the breath and then let the experience of your breath soften. Let your breath go.

let your eyes gently close or rest softly on an object on the room that causes your body to feel neutral or pleasant or safe, until you are ready to return to this guided practice.

As you return to the reading, I invite you to let go of any thoughts that arose and pulled you out of this present and then return your awareness to your breath. Let it go with a gentle sigh, and perhaps a yawn

invite your focus to shift from reading at the end of this paragraph and to shift to the experience of your physical weighted body being supported right now. Feel the experience of being in contact with the bed or the couch or the chair or the floor and, ultimately, by gravity. Notice the sensations you notice. Allow yourself to soften into the support and, when ready, allow yourself to continue to feel the support when you choose to return to the reading.

As you return to the reading, I invite you to honor the sensations you are noticing, even as you read. Be curious. Again, shift your attention from this reading after this paragraph and give your sensations and all your body parts permission to move, if that is what they desire in this moment. Give them permission to breathe and sigh and sound. Give them permission to open and/or close, to stretch or to tighten. Repeat this until you feel a little bit of satisfaction, a little bit of ease, a little bit of ease, until your body is ready for your eyes to return to reading.

Give yourself permssion to let go some more.

Each time a thought comes up that is not about this moment, let it go.

Invite yourself to let go of reading to return, over and over again, to the practice being present with the sensations of the experience of your breath moving into and out of your body, and the sensations of the experience of your physical body receiving the grounded energy of the planet, and with the sensations of the experience of what you are seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching, in this present moment, even as your also focusing on reading this blog post.

I invite you to give yourself permssion to practice being present with yourSelf and your physical environment right now for as long as you desire.

And when you decide that the time to finish reading this blog post and exploring this practice with this guidance, I invite you ask yourself these questions:

”Do I feel any different - in my spirit, my body and/or in my mind?”

“Has anything changed from when I started reading this blog?”

“Did I feel any challenges?”

I’d love to hear your answers. Whatever you experienced, please know that this practice is not only valuable, but essential for spiritbodymimd health!

If you’d like more guided support in your practice of living, breathing, sensing and moving more fully and with more ease - whether as an individualize or in a group - please contact me for more information.

Cultivating the State of BEing, an embodiment practice

My favorite line from this meme is "become, unfold, tense and unfold again". It really resonates.

For me, the juicy stuff of my life, personally and professionally, lies in my capacity to be ever more fully in the experience of the transitions. When I read this line from this meme, I don’t simply resonate with the idea of these three states of action - of Becoming, Unfolding and Tensing. I resonate with the images and sensations that arise for me as I imagine the experience of moving each one, and from one to the other.

For me, growth is about being able to notice, in deeper and deeper ways, my patterns and to explore ways to move within, around and between these patterns.

For me, learning happens when we recognize our patterns and allow ourselves to explore and play with them.

For me, doing this sort of deep play and exploration can only be done from a sense of safety. Being in my embodied sense of safety is what allows me to not only do an action with my full Self but to also to be more fully in the experience of moving, to be completely in the process of shifting from one action to another, of moving with, around and between the patterns and to never become unsafe. Because of this personal (and professional) practice of starting from a sense of safety, I'm inclined to change the language of this meme just a bit.

For me, the process of becoming, unfolding, tensing and unfolding again is more accurately described as this:

Be.

Allow movement.

Notice the edge where you begin to resist and allow yourself to be right there.

Be curious.

Notice what you can notice.

Learn what you can learn.

Be.

Once you notice that you are satisfied (or possibly bored),

change something.

Allow space and time for continued curiosity.

Repeat. Over and over again.

This, for me, is the practice of embodiment. It is the process of somatic movement therapy. It is the template for all healing. It is an invaluable practice to cultivate.

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While I was journaling and moving and exploring in the process of refining the original phrase so that it better suited me, I felt inspired to create a guided embodiment practice for myself. The result is the attached twelve minute audio recording. I appreciated this so much for myself that I wanted to share it with you.

I hope you will explore with my guidance.
I hope you will share your comments below.

And if you find this inspiring and you’d like to take your practice deeper or wider or fuller with support, I hope you will contact me about setting up a thirty minute free consultation to discuss the possibility of working together.

Regards and blessings. - Victoria
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Special thanks to my friends at Kindred Collective who originally shared this meme on their Facebook and Instagram pages.

Remembering Our Practices - Practicing to Resource - Resourcing to Resiliency

I am writing this because of the need for support that I am hearing/sensing from all quarters given the events in our nation's Capitol yesterday.

The events of yesterday 1/6/2021 and the reactions I’ve heard and seen in my world have really affirmed for me the importance of the things I share with individual clients and the participants to my various workshop. To say that I see a need for more capacity for safe embodiment is, at the least, an understatement. It is times like these when our very structure seems unstable that we most often recognize the importance of a regular practice of our resources. A regular practice that includes things like constructive thinking, The Check-in and active self-care during the settled times is the foundational work that helps us expand our capacity to be more resilient in times of great unknown and transition.

I invite you to remember, as we all move together through these turbulent, transitional times, that you have support., if you choose to access it.

At the most basic, you have the support of your breath, of the Earth under your feet, and of your sensory body to orient you into the present moment.

You have the support of your personal practice.

If you choose to, you have the support of a therapeutic relationship.

You have support.

I invite you to remember, you have the capacity to shift how you feel inside.

When the danger that is causing dysregulation is not actually near us and is a creation of our mind, we CAN choose to practice nourishing our nervous system instead of accumulating more pain/stress.

We practice nourishing our nervous systems so that they are able to perform as they are designed, to allow us to rest, digest, recuperate and to be actively responsible for our self-care. We practice nourishing our nervous systems SO THAT they can more readily react in cases where our body is actually in danger, when we truly need the chemicals of adrenalin, cortisol and epinephrine to help us survive and get to safety.

I invite you to remember, that you have support.

We can choose to practice deepening our relationship with the actions of breath, centering, grounding and orienting. These are the resources of our eternal selves. They were gifts given to us at birth to help our nervous systems regulate.

We can choose to practice self-regulation. We can choose to be the thermostat of our life, rather than the thermometer.

I invite you to remember you have the capacity to think constructively, instead of destructively.

"I am free to choose."

"I am free to notice ease."

"I am free to choose where I put my focus."

I invite you to remember, you are free to choose.

By actively doing the practice of recognizing and choosing where you put your focus throughout your day AND by observing HOW your whole Self is affected by what you choose to focus on (intentionally or unintentionally.), you can continually deepen your ability to make choices about your focus and your actions that further help you to co-regulate and self-regulate.

I invite you to remember, you have the capacity to learn and repattern.

We learn to self-regulate not simply to reclaim our place in our Comfort Zone.

We learn to self-regulate in order to ALSO be able to more safely go into the places in our lives that bring up challenging sensations, emotions, actions, beliefs and stories.

We learn to self-regulate in order to help us be able to grow and learn with less overwhelm or panic.

You can choose to self-regulate so that you can have more energy to change the things you can have some effect upon.

You can choose to self-regulate to increase your capacity to let go of what does not serve you and what you can not change.

You can learn to self-regulate so that you can better access attunement and reason within your Self, regardless of what is happening in the world outside of your skin container.

We each practice self-regulating so that we can give care to ourselves, our loved ones, each other and our community. We practice self-regulation to give space for ease and compassion to ourselves and to others.

I invite you to remember, you have support. We are all in this together.
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If you do not feel like you have the capacity to feel and/or access the support available to you or to explore these practices on your own, please contact me or another somatic therapist to help you deepen your practice of embodiment with professional support.

The Importance of Embodiment (in Times of Great Unknown)

In times of unknown, it is can be tempting to fall into old patterns. The comfort of the dysfunctional pattern can feel more familiar than slowing down, checking in, reminding ourselves that it is our choice as to where we put our focus, that it is our choice when and how to move in a new direction, it is our choice to move in that new direction at a speed that our slowest parts feel safe to go.

In times of unknown, it can be tempting to shut down, go into shallow breathing, stop moving, crawl under the covers, try to be as small as possible or even try to make ourselves invisible from every danger of some future possible timeline that our minds can create.

In times of unknown, it can be tempting to blow up, lash out, drink, hit someone or something, say "f*(k it" and lose any sense of our grounded support and our breath, to prepare to fight every possible future danger our mind can create.

All of this could be true. We each have a choice. Do it. Don’t do it. Do it for a little while and then decide to do something different. Your choice.

Your choice

There are other options. In times of unknown, it is possible to slow down, to check-in to the movement of our breath filling and emptying our torsos, to check-in to where and how we are accepting the support of our bones standing strong with the unconditional loving support of the Earth.

We are free to check-in with the movement of our breath and to pay attention to the ways we are literally being supported, right now, right in this very space and moment.

We are free to allow ourselves to gently, easily move our bodies around in the space we are in while looking at, touching, smelling, listening, actively experiencing and being present with the things around us that nourish us.

We are free to notice the impulses and sensations within these bodies we are in, these bodies that are trying to process and be present with our mind’s ideas about the great unknowns. These impulses we feel are important information that we may be tempted to stifle or ignore or shame because we don’t know how to attend to them safely. Ask yourself:

Does my body want to run? Can I run in place right where I am?

Does it want to jump up and down, to scream, moan or yawn? Am I somewhere I can do this safely?

Does it want to stretch slowly or shake, shimmy, wiggle, wriggle or rock? Will I allow myself to do this?

In times of dysregulation and unknown, it is important to remember that we can choose to find a safe space to move our bodies in the ways that it wants and then to Do it.

Remember: the nervous system is designed for movement and movement that feeds the nervous system does not need to be large.

The movement that nourishes and supports the nervous system can be subtle. It can be the movement of conscious breath changing the shape of your torso. It could be the movement of pressing and releasing into whatever surface is currently supporting you.. It can be the movement of growing and shrinking some body part with curiosity or it could be whatever the movement is of letting go of what no longer serves and giving yourself what you desire more of.

While thinking about and talking about your fear, anger, sadness might seem productive to your cognitive self, it is not the best way to calm the nervous system. In fact, unless we are choosing to think or talk with a very conscious constructive intent, our thinking and talking often contributes to more active firing of the sympathetic part of the nervous system which leads us into spiraling patterns of Flight/Flight that we sometimes call anxiety and depression.

Actively moving your body is the best way to support yourself in letting go of the chemicals created by your nervous system in response to the dangers your mind has been and is creating. Letting go of those chemicals while actively making space for more ease and serenity makes way for your body’s natural healing capacities of resting and digesting. Nourishing, healing, and supporting ourselves in this moment, right now, is the way we prepare ourselves to respond reasonably and with resilience when we are called upon to act in relationship to whatever unknowns exist in our actual future timeline.

In times of great unknown, in times of discomfort, it is so important to lovingly and compassionately move yourself, even if for just one minute now and one minute later. Even if it is simply remembering to focus for the next sixty seconds on the movement created within your skin container as you breathe.

Tending to your embodied experience is so very important, in times of ease, and in times of great unknown. Take care, dear ones.