a lived story explaining therapeutic somatic repatterning...

Nervous systems…

Living together…

Inevitably will find opportunities for the old unprocessed stories of danger and pain to emerge, stories of when the nervous system never got to move the body to safety, when it never got to feel the experience of being seen or heard in a way that let the whole system fully release into safety, when it never got to truly resolve and settle.

And these opportunities can create new stories of the old paradigm, history brought into present.

And the spiritbodymind can get more and more tangled. Especially when two nervous systems are both trying to deal with old unprocessed woundings. The nervous system can so easily be made to believe the thing of the past is happening again. It can FEEL like it's happening again. And when this happens patterns will play out because, without other options, this is what the sensory-nervous-motor systems of the body will do: react. When this happens the body can feel simply awful, hopeless, helpless. This kind of situation can bring out all the fight, flight, collapse patterns your nervous system has as the "tools" to try to help you deal with danger and survival. Tangles and snarls.

And i am here to tell you that this kind of situation can also be an opportunity to learn to disentangle. With practice you, fully somatic human being that you are, have more options available to you than you know!!!

You CAN learn to recognize that the current situation is an opportunity to FEEL a vibration of an old unresolved pattern that needs healing.

You can learn to recognize that to FEEL this discomfort safely you MUST ground and orient your sensory nervous system into the actual literal present (NOT the firings of the stories pushing their way into your awareness, stories that explain and justify the refiring of the old familiar patterns of fear, anger, discomfort and the resulting patterned (re)actions).

You CAN learn to listen, feel, hear when these old familiar protective patterns emerge, and to actively engage with your body so that you can safely explore what the patterns need from you TODAY that will allow them to untangle a bit and eventually to transform.

Healing at this deep level IS possible.

I know because I live this in my life. It is a process for sure. I am still learning. I still get caught up in the effects of wounding that happened long ago as if it was happening again today. I struggle with the deep pain that can surface from small misunderstandings and the reactive protective patterns. I can still feel how helpless my mind becomes when this happens and it feels like it's happening once again.

AND

I have also felt the power of the practice I described above. I have felt this practice transform the very tissues of my body and allow me to have more capacity to move and act and be more whole in the present. This practice has helped me from letting that old energy and pain fully lead my mouth and my actions in my present. I have learned that i do have the power to feel and act on my deep desire to actively be more healthy and more sane, even in times of conflict. I have learned that I can be with those parts of me that are crying out or raging for help without being taken over by them. Accessing this capacity takes practice and that practice creates space for change and healing.

I live this practice.

And in my professional life as a somatic movement therapist I support others to do the same. This, for me, is the essence of my understanding of and approach to therapeutic somatic repatterning.
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I feel like I haven’t been able to explain therapeutic somatic repatterning this clearly before outside of a one-on-one session, but a recent situation in my life helped me feel and find these words. Let me know if you have questions, are curious and want to set up a consultation to learn more. Call 573-575-MOVE or email me!

The Embodiment of Being

I am here to share this radical idea: The Body does not have to learn to BE.

There is an idea that I have heard throughout my life, that we somehow have to WORK to learn to BE. I have come to understand that this is a basic misunderstanding of HOW we develop.

The Body has ALWAYS known BEingness and at this very moment yearns for the complex YOU to allow it more and more! (Can you hear it whispering, “please oh please oh please”?)

Here is how I view it: Body was conceived into Beingness. One moment you were something - spirit, energy, Divine, nothingness, take your pick - and then the next moment you were the embodiment of Being. In that moment of your conception the cells knew how to Be. They didn’t need an instructor or a book. They knew. They Breathed, taking in nourishment and letting go of what didn’t serve their desire for Life. They accepted the support of Gravity as it sequenced through the Body of your host. They allowed and welcomed growth and change. All of this is what supported You to become the Being that could viably live outside your host mother in your many layered complex form. Your cells then continued to allow and welcome growth and change as you became…the YOU of right now and all that you’ve been.

Today, right now, you can trust that your cells. While having changed their form many times over, they are still as wise as they were in the BEginning. You can trust that they have the capacity to continue to allow and welcome growth and change (as long as your more complex Self doesn’t thwart them in living their deep wisdom!)

The embodiment of BEing is foundational within all of us. It is how we all began.

To connect with the history of the human experience of this deep wisdom we just need look at the way we’ve have created language to try to capture this very experience. The etymology of the word “Be” is “I am”, “I exist” and “I grow”. Similarly the word BEgin derives from roots that mean “to open to existence”.

We are always capable of sensing of BEingness…that is IF we allow ourselves to access the deep wisdoms of the Body, I’m talking about accessing the deep wisdom of the Body in its own right, with its own unique information and not as our Minds conceives of it.

Can you grok this? Do you feel any of your Body’s parts resonate or become more enlivened as you read this idea? Do you feel curiosity and/or desire well up in your tissues?
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I will say it again.

The Body does not have to learn to BE.

We do not have to do anything to BE, other than to allow ourselves to connect with the most foundational experience of our physical embodied Selves.

When we think we have to learn to Be, we forget that it is actually the DOing that we learned and must relearn, unlearn or change to feel more health.

As we grew from that initial tissue into the more complex human form that we most likely still carry with us in some way in this moment, we moved and we engaged with the environment. It is this movement and engagement that invited the mind to began its process of being created.

And it is the mind that was taught to separate our DOing from the foundational support of BEing. It is the mind that was taught to prioritize the DOing. And it is the mind that was taught to dis-embody ourselves, to we make our bodies DO in ways that exhaust and deplete us. (When I say “taught” I am not talking about the intentional lessons of educators. I am talking about everything what we experienced, saw, felt, were told, were subjected to by people, things and situations (well-meaning or otherwise) that formed our understanding of our Selves - then, now and in-between.)

Given this, we are all fully capable of allowing ourselves to be open to embodying our BEingness ALL THE TIME (or at least, opening ourselves to the possibility that we are all fully able to be open to this in some way), even while we are DOing.

And yet, I have learned and observed that it is not an easy thing to reconnect with this foundational aspect of our Selves. The lessons of disembodiment are deep. Our patterns and practices of disembodiment and disconnection are strong and familiar in our culture (and sometimes we have learned to disembody and disconnect for important and valuable reasons that served us at the time!)

In spite of the challenge, it is the practice of reconnecting with the embodiment of BEing that is essential to living our life more fully (in my probably not so humble opinion). It is my experience that one of the keys (if not THE key) to living life with more health, ease, confidence, creativity, and compassion (to name a few of the benefits) is this practice of connecting to one’s sensory, moving, breathing, living Body in whatever ways are possible in this moment and in each moment.

If you are curious and want support exploring and reconnecting with your sense of your foundational BEing Self, contact me.

Blessings. Victoria aka DidiAletheia

Remembering Our Practices - Practicing to Resource - Resourcing to Resiliency

I am writing this because of the need for support that I am hearing/sensing from all quarters given the events in our nation's Capitol yesterday.

The events of yesterday 1/6/2021 and the reactions I’ve heard and seen in my world have really affirmed for me the importance of the things I share with individual clients and the participants to my various workshop. To say that I see a need for more capacity for safe embodiment is, at the least, an understatement. It is times like these when our very structure seems unstable that we most often recognize the importance of a regular practice of our resources. A regular practice that includes things like constructive thinking, The Check-in and active self-care during the settled times is the foundational work that helps us expand our capacity to be more resilient in times of great unknown and transition.

I invite you to remember, as we all move together through these turbulent, transitional times, that you have support., if you choose to access it.

At the most basic, you have the support of your breath, of the Earth under your feet, and of your sensory body to orient you into the present moment.

You have the support of your personal practice.

If you choose to, you have the support of a therapeutic relationship.

You have support.

I invite you to remember, you have the capacity to shift how you feel inside.

When the danger that is causing dysregulation is not actually near us and is a creation of our mind, we CAN choose to practice nourishing our nervous system instead of accumulating more pain/stress.

We practice nourishing our nervous systems so that they are able to perform as they are designed, to allow us to rest, digest, recuperate and to be actively responsible for our self-care. We practice nourishing our nervous systems SO THAT they can more readily react in cases where our body is actually in danger, when we truly need the chemicals of adrenalin, cortisol and epinephrine to help us survive and get to safety.

I invite you to remember, that you have support.

We can choose to practice deepening our relationship with the actions of breath, centering, grounding and orienting. These are the resources of our eternal selves. They were gifts given to us at birth to help our nervous systems regulate.

We can choose to practice self-regulation. We can choose to be the thermostat of our life, rather than the thermometer.

I invite you to remember you have the capacity to think constructively, instead of destructively.

"I am free to choose."

"I am free to notice ease."

"I am free to choose where I put my focus."

I invite you to remember, you are free to choose.

By actively doing the practice of recognizing and choosing where you put your focus throughout your day AND by observing HOW your whole Self is affected by what you choose to focus on (intentionally or unintentionally.), you can continually deepen your ability to make choices about your focus and your actions that further help you to co-regulate and self-regulate.

I invite you to remember, you have the capacity to learn and repattern.

We learn to self-regulate not simply to reclaim our place in our Comfort Zone.

We learn to self-regulate in order to ALSO be able to more safely go into the places in our lives that bring up challenging sensations, emotions, actions, beliefs and stories.

We learn to self-regulate in order to help us be able to grow and learn with less overwhelm or panic.

You can choose to self-regulate so that you can have more energy to change the things you can have some effect upon.

You can choose to self-regulate to increase your capacity to let go of what does not serve you and what you can not change.

You can learn to self-regulate so that you can better access attunement and reason within your Self, regardless of what is happening in the world outside of your skin container.

We each practice self-regulating so that we can give care to ourselves, our loved ones, each other and our community. We practice self-regulation to give space for ease and compassion to ourselves and to others.

I invite you to remember, you have support. We are all in this together.
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If you do not feel like you have the capacity to feel and/or access the support available to you or to explore these practices on your own, please contact me or another somatic therapist to help you deepen your practice of embodiment with professional support.

The Importance of Embodiment (in Times of Great Unknown)

In times of unknown, it is can be tempting to fall into old patterns. The comfort of the dysfunctional pattern can feel more familiar than slowing down, checking in, reminding ourselves that it is our choice as to where we put our focus, that it is our choice when and how to move in a new direction, it is our choice to move in that new direction at a speed that our slowest parts feel safe to go.

In times of unknown, it can be tempting to shut down, go into shallow breathing, stop moving, crawl under the covers, try to be as small as possible or even try to make ourselves invisible from every danger of some future possible timeline that our minds can create.

In times of unknown, it can be tempting to blow up, lash out, drink, hit someone or something, say "f*(k it" and lose any sense of our grounded support and our breath, to prepare to fight every possible future danger our mind can create.

All of this could be true. We each have a choice. Do it. Don’t do it. Do it for a little while and then decide to do something different. Your choice.

Your choice

There are other options. In times of unknown, it is possible to slow down, to check-in to the movement of our breath filling and emptying our torsos, to check-in to where and how we are accepting the support of our bones standing strong with the unconditional loving support of the Earth.

We are free to check-in with the movement of our breath and to pay attention to the ways we are literally being supported, right now, right in this very space and moment.

We are free to allow ourselves to gently, easily move our bodies around in the space we are in while looking at, touching, smelling, listening, actively experiencing and being present with the things around us that nourish us.

We are free to notice the impulses and sensations within these bodies we are in, these bodies that are trying to process and be present with our mind’s ideas about the great unknowns. These impulses we feel are important information that we may be tempted to stifle or ignore or shame because we don’t know how to attend to them safely. Ask yourself:

Does my body want to run? Can I run in place right where I am?

Does it want to jump up and down, to scream, moan or yawn? Am I somewhere I can do this safely?

Does it want to stretch slowly or shake, shimmy, wiggle, wriggle or rock? Will I allow myself to do this?

In times of dysregulation and unknown, it is important to remember that we can choose to find a safe space to move our bodies in the ways that it wants and then to Do it.

Remember: the nervous system is designed for movement and movement that feeds the nervous system does not need to be large.

The movement that nourishes and supports the nervous system can be subtle. It can be the movement of conscious breath changing the shape of your torso. It could be the movement of pressing and releasing into whatever surface is currently supporting you.. It can be the movement of growing and shrinking some body part with curiosity or it could be whatever the movement is of letting go of what no longer serves and giving yourself what you desire more of.

While thinking about and talking about your fear, anger, sadness might seem productive to your cognitive self, it is not the best way to calm the nervous system. In fact, unless we are choosing to think or talk with a very conscious constructive intent, our thinking and talking often contributes to more active firing of the sympathetic part of the nervous system which leads us into spiraling patterns of Flight/Flight that we sometimes call anxiety and depression.

Actively moving your body is the best way to support yourself in letting go of the chemicals created by your nervous system in response to the dangers your mind has been and is creating. Letting go of those chemicals while actively making space for more ease and serenity makes way for your body’s natural healing capacities of resting and digesting. Nourishing, healing, and supporting ourselves in this moment, right now, is the way we prepare ourselves to respond reasonably and with resilience when we are called upon to act in relationship to whatever unknowns exist in our actual future timeline.

In times of great unknown, in times of discomfort, it is so important to lovingly and compassionately move yourself, even if for just one minute now and one minute later. Even if it is simply remembering to focus for the next sixty seconds on the movement created within your skin container as you breathe.

Tending to your embodied experience is so very important, in times of ease, and in times of great unknown. Take care, dear ones.

A Morning Contemplation on Staying Connected in the time of Covid19

I am working on a blog post called “Pacing Yourself in the Time of Social Distancing”; however, because I am pacing myself, it is not yet ready to share. Meanwhile, I would like to share with you this morning contemplation I wrote on connection. My gift to you. - Vic

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Good morning, my friend.

Let's get together right now. Would you like that?

We may not be able to touch hands or hug. I may not be able to rest the right side of my face on the right side of yours, heart to heart. We may not be able to face each other, just across a table, coffees in our hands, our words bumping into each other through the sagittal space we share. We may not be able to do any of these things right now...and yet,

we can breathe together, in this space that is spaceless, where there is no real distance, where we are all connected.

I exhale, fully aware that I am releasing parts of myself to the environment. I am confident that my body knows how to release the stuff I no longer need - and while, right now, we might be inclined, consciously or not, to focus on the stuff we or others are exhaling that can be of danger, I'm suggesting we choose to remember that our out breath is also a gift. The trees, the grasses, the crocuses that are just finishing their debut, the ready-for-their-show daffodils all live because of our exhale, and, likewise, we because of theirs.

My exhale becomes their exhale, my toxic waste taken in by their wise cells, accepted, transformed into nourishment for them, and then passed on, out into their environment. Passed out of them into others and others until it finds you, a gift of breath especially for you, to do with what you will.

And please know that I am here, accepting your gift. As I inhale again, I give thanks to you, my human friend, and to all the plants between us, who have made this breath possible. I give thanks to the connections that exist, always.

I urge us both to take time, at least once today and as often as possible, to consciously honor this Breathing thing we are doing and often don't even notice. I want to remind us both to spend some time out of the house and in nature, breathing and paying attention to the life that is all around us.
And to remember: we are all in this together.

Blessed be, my friend.