Today is the first day of my self-imposed social distancing. I thought I was prepared for it. My partner and I have discussed, planned and taken action. We have stocked up so that we have plenty of food stuffs and toilet paper. We were conscious to buy extra of everything while also doing it in a way that was not overwhelming to our refrigerator or our psyches. I have notified my clients that I will no longer be offering face-to-face in-office sessions. I am reading and educating myself (slowly and with ease!) about what I need to know about tele-health, HIPAA and insurance reimbursement. I am working on ways to offer movement opportunities to folks using Zoom. When I went to bed last night, I felt confident that I have done and am doing the functional actions that need to be done.
Good work, cortex! Planning, attention to detail, ability to act: all these capacities are working well.
And then I woke up…it seems that now that the initial rush of planning and preparing are over and the preliminary actions have been taken, I can no longer ignore the feelings. The emotions and sensations. The parts of me that are housed in the provinces of the lower, non-cognitive parts of the brain…and in every tissue in my body.
I woke up this morning to the marvelously skilled sympathetic part of my autonomic nervous system screaming at me to stop laying in bed and run, run, run away from this thing before it catches us. I quickly recognized the emotion of fear at about the same time I noticed the wacky soundtrack that was playing in my head. I noticed the familiar sensations of chemicals racing just under my skin, in my chest, under my rib cage. The chemicals designed to protect me were causing me to tighten my neck and my jaw and…oh yeah, hey, I’m holding my breath!
In that moment, I am grateful that I am able to remind myself that I am free to choose. I choose to know that there is no where to run because the only danger to my health is, at this moment, inside of me. I am safe, in my bed, healthy. I choose to breath. I choose to trust that a slow, deep exhale will make way for a deep, recuperative inhale.
I breathe. Exhale. Inhale.
Slowly I feel the racing of the fear subside. I feel a sense of relief that I have rode this wave of fear and panic…and then I feel the heaviness. It is as if those chemicals of Flight had simply been hiding the dull collapsed heaviness resting deep inside of me, the sensations I recognize as being attached to the idea that there is no hope. And for the moment my cognitive brain is being no help to me as it thinks things like, “There is no escape.” “This is going to be bad.” “This is just awful.” Down, down, down I fall, heavier and heavier…and then, what is that I notice? Oh yeah, I’m not breathing again. Oh yes, BREATHING! Breathing is important…
And my cortex kicks in: this is no time for passive breathing, it says to me. What you need to do, it prompts, is active, conscious, shape-changing breath. What is important right now is the kind of breath that will MOVE your heavy body and transforms these toxins into lightness and energy!
My cognitive self reminds me I am free to allow and to accept my Breath’s full support.
As I slowly exhale, I place one hand on my ribs under the opposite arm pit and the other hand on my diaphragm, just below my rib cage. I invite myself to let my awareness settle in my hands, focusing on the subtle movements I feel under them. I remind myself that I am free to choose where I put my focus and in this moment I focus on the shape change of my torso as I allow my Breath to fully flow in its life-giving, health-maintaining tidal pattern of receiving and letting go.
As I stay present with the movement of my breath, I give thanks to my lymphatic system, the network of tissues and organs that help rid my body of toxins, waste and other unwanted materials. I know that by actively breathing, fully emptying and filling my torso, inviting my self to let go of tension and to allow my breath to move inside of me three-dimensionally, I am also supporting the movement of the lymph fluid that contains infection-fighting white blood cells. I know that the lymphatic system needs this sort of movement - slow, easy, and fluid - to move most effectively because, unlike the cardiovascular system, it has no internal pump to keep it flowing. I know that by taking this time to invite and allow my tissues to grow and shrink, easily and fully, with each breath I am bathing my entire body with health.
That is the practice I have to offer today: I invite you to choose to take at least five to ten minutes today to lay on a firm surface and Breathe in such a way that you can FEEL the sensations of your torso growing and shrinking. Let your hands support you in finding the movement of change. Use the information of the support of the floor to give you the feedback that your ribs are literally opening and closing with each breath. Imagine the lymph fluid pulsing and surging each time you feel your belly hollowing in and then filling up again to bulging.
And know that it is not only your lymphatic system that you are supporting. Know that as you do this practice you are also supporting the miraculous parasympathetic part of your autonomic nervous system. You are helping it to support YOU in digesting - digesting the chemicals of fear and sadness, digesting the toxic thoughts that haunt you, digesting and making more space for your system to rest, recuperate and receive nourishment. With this practice, you are supporting your whole nervous system!
I can attest that this works. After ten minutes of this practice, I noticed that the tone of my emotions, the experience of my sensations and the quality of my thoughts were more in balance, allowing me the energy to get out of bed, make breakfast, take a walk and write this blog…and all without any re-occurring sense of overwhelm!
I invite you to repeat this exercise often. Remember to hydrate. And don’t stop with just this exercise - remember: movement is the key to health!
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If you found these ideas and suggestions helpful and would like to be part of an on-line guided movement break based on fundamental principles of healthy, integrated movement, please email me at EmbodimentLLC@gmail.com for the schedule and Zoom link.
The next scheduled movement break is Monday, March 16th from 12:15 - 12:45.